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GLEES 2000

By Nicholas Till


When did you first discover that the world is magic?


Meet Marlene
She’s been places, seen things you could only dream of
Tell us Marlene, tell us what you saw

Last night I saw an Egyptian princess, mudslides in China, cars being trashed,
two old dictators taking tea, the flutter of shares somewhere east,
housewives sobbing for joy, something lost in space, men shot in hate,
a mouse cured of cancer, men behaving badly, neighbours from hell, blind dates …

So here’s to Saturday night TV

(I hope I don’t end up like you Marlene)

Animal Magic

Let me play nature to your culture
Let me play dumb to your smart
Let me play vulture to your culture
Let me play wild to your art

But tame the beast within me
Show me your higher things
I’ll play the game believe me
And let you clip my wings

Please bind me, gag me, beat me
To set my demons free
I’ll pay you blind submission
And listen to your glee


Sincere Glee

And this time they really meant it
About the place where
For a moment you could be somewhere
That took you somewhere else
And not that somewhere else
That is always only here

And this time they really meant it
About the place where
You knew it was only pretend
Yet showed you something real
And not that kind of real
That is always only pretend


Just Relax

Learn something new
Or just relax

Check out some sport
Or just relax

Try a new hobby
Or just relax

Shop down town
Or just relax

Drink in the bar
Or just relax

Lunch by the pool
Or just relax

Talk to a friend
Or just relax

Lie in the sun
Or just relax

Shoot up some more
Or just relax

Drop down dead
Or just relax


Ideal Homes

I’d love to live in a palace, but sometimes I wouldn’t

I wouldn’t like to live in foreign parts, but sometimes I would

I’d love to have servants, but sometimes I wouldn’t

I’d love to live at the top of mountain, but not for ever

I love it when my family stays, but not for long

I wouldn’t like to live on a boat, but sometimes I would

I wouldn’t like to live with Madonna, but sometimes I would

I’d love to live somewhere tidy, but not always

I’d love to have a roof over my head, but sometimes I wouldn’t


Frequency Glee

9 kilohertz is the frequency of thunderstorm detection, hurricanes, earthquakes and revolution

890 megahertz to 905 megahertz is the frequency of mobile phones, lame excuses, last minute deals and pet names in public

49.82 megahertz to 49. 9 megahertz is the frequency of baby alarms, overheard secrets and vigilance

3 megahertz is the frequency of hearing aids, voices in your head and guilty conscience

1450 megahertz is the frequency of microwaves and outer space, instant gratification and final absolution


Closing Chorus

Welcome to the theatre of broken promises

Club night when the beer ran out
The factory-wrapped gift without a battery
The party when everyone left to catch the last bus
The piano with a hollow note
The wall of fire that failed to ignite
The flat pack dream whose door was missing

Rainy holidays
Broken biscuits
Soggy crisps
One-night sex
Miracle cures
Hair restorer
Wrinkle remover
Iceberg lettuce
Special deliveries
Ideal homes


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© Post-Operative Productions, Nick Till, Kandis Cook, 2002